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Increase Page Rank for Blogger in No Time !

External links - Jquery You want to Increase Page Rank for Blogger or your site in no time ? Ok ,perfect ! All those what you have found from tips and tricks about SEO and Ranking may work ,but have you came across the tips which I found ?

All you need to try it here you wont be sorry ! go try it GUMGUM :) visit my another explained post about this tips about ranking

What is Twitter ,how to use it and what for ?

External links - Jquery Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?While Twitter may have started as a micro-blogging service, it is grown into much more than simply a tool to type in quick status updates. I often describe Twitter as a cross between blogging and instant messaging, but even that doesn't do it justice.

WHY USE TWITTER ? GO HERE AND READ WHY :)

Hide Blogger Navbar in New Blogger Blogspot !

External links - Jquery Want to get rid of the blogger toolbar in new blogger that just came out of beta ? If you have shifted your blogspot blog from old blogger to the new blogger beta, you may have noticed that the previous CSS code to remove the blogger navbar will no longer be effective. That's because Google now uses different CSS tags to display the blogger bar. [#navbar-iframe instead of #b-navbar] If you want to hide the navbar in your blogger blog, here's what you should do ! (these instructions refer to the "new" Blogger layouts templates) GO GET IT GUMGUM:)

Super Sexy Bookmarks Widget for Blogger !

Thumbnail image that says sleek button using photoshop that links to a Photoshop tutoril. Looking for professional Social Bookmark Buttons for your blog ! me too :) however, while i was searching the net too, I came across a post by Naeemnur, that had instructions for Blogger (BlogSpot.com) based blogs which was really good.If you have a blog on blogger you can definitely give this a try.

Its very attractive social bookmarking widget ! it can help you to let your visitors bookmark your page effectively .

for instructions about the use of this SEXY Social bookmarking widget ! you can go here and get it GUMGUM:)

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Saturday, 30 June 2012

Please shed whatever lowly vestments you're currently using to hide your disgusting body, and slip into one of these pre-shrunk cotton miracles.

1. Biker Stryker

Biker Stryker
Source: shop.themountain.me

2. DJ Peace

DJ Peace
Source: shop.themountain.me

3. DJ Caesar

DJ Caesar
Source: shop.themountain.me

4. Boxer Rocky

Boxer Rocky
Source: shop.themountain.me

5. Hunter Buck

Hunter Buck
Source: shop.themountain.me

6. Biker JD

Biker JD
Source: shop.themountain.me

7. Combat Sam

Combat Sam
Source: shop.themountain.me

8. Combat Stryker

Combat Stryker
Source: shop.themountain.me

9. DJ Jahman

DJ Jahman
Source: shop.themountain.me

10. Graffiti Saber

Graffiti Saber
Source: shop.themountain.me

11. Navy SEAL

Navy SEAL
Source: shop.themountain.me

12. Smokin Jahman

Smokin Jahman
Source: shop.themountain.me

13. DJ Sarge

DJ Sarge
Source: shop.themountain.me

14. Rocker Cooper

Rocker Cooper
Source: shop.themountain.me

15. Duck Hunter

Duck Hunter
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16. Big Cock Head

Big Cock Head
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17. Guard Panzer

Guard Panzer
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18. Nas T-Rex

Nas T-Rex
Source: shop.themountain.me

19. Punky!

Punky!
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20. Backpack Kitty

Backpack Kitty
Source: shop.themountain.me

21. Come & Get It

Come & Get It
Source: shop.themountain.me

22. Rastafurrian Kitten

Rastafurrian Kitten
Source: shop.themountain.me

23. T-Rex Tearing

T-Rex Tearing
Source: shop.themountain.me

24. Golden Feather

Golden Feather
Source: shop.themountain.me

25. My personal favorite (SOLD OUT!!!)

My personal favorite (SOLD OUT!!!)

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Risks in Loving Men Who Can’t Commit

Commitment phobic men are not wounded birds waiting to be nursed to health.

Should women spend time, energy, and emotion on a man who may never be a part of their future? All too often women say to themselves or their friends: “Well, he wouldn’t commit in the past, but I’m different.  I have more patience than the other women he dated, and I am more understanding than most women. I can help him.” 

 

If you have heard yourself saying the words “I can help him,” think of yourself as being trapped in the “wounded bird syndrome”  in which your desire to nurse someone back to health is so strong that it clouds your logical thinking.

Before getting too involved with a commitment phobic man consider asking yourself  these 20 Questions to Finding New Love and Marriage.  And then make a conscious effort to understand what is most important to you. 2 Virtues Enhance Falling in Love Forever. Also watch his body language and his actions towards you. If you are jumping through hoops for the commitment phobic man and thinking you can nurse him back to love – think again. Many commitment phobic men are reliving a dysfunctional family role (in fact, some women are in this trap as well.)

self-compassion consists of three components:

  • Self-kindness: Being kind, gentle and understanding with yourself when you’re suffering.
  • Common humanity: Realizing that you’re not alone in your struggles. When we’re struggling, we tend to feel especially isolated. We think we’re the only ones to experience loss, make mistakes, feel rejected or fail. But it’s these very struggles that are part of our shared experience as humans.
  • Mindfulness: Observing life as it is, without being judgemental or suppressing your thoughts and feelings.

I know I’ve been in sick relationships, but I don’t know what a healthyrelationship looks like.

In the years I’ve been counseling and coaching, many people say, “I know I’ve been in sick relationships, but I don’t know what a healthyrelationship looks like.”

There are many long and complicated answers to this, but there is also a simple one: healthy relationships make your life larger and happier; unhealthy relationships narrow your life and make you crazy.

Healthy relationships do not include mind games, mixed messages, or control.  There is not a back and forth or continual makeup and breakup, or “I’m sorry, please forgive me” every week or so.

 

In healthy relationships, there is a partnership and a nurturing by both parties of that partnership.  At the same time, each person recognizes the need to have interests and time away from their partner to nurture themselves. They don’t need to have the same interests, but rather the same view of life. Healthy love is about taking care of yourself and taking care of your mate… and those things are in balance to the point where they seldom collide.

What is Real Love?

Healthy people lead to healthy relationships and healthy relationships lead to real love.

Real love does not seek another person to fill up what we are lacking. It takes a complete, whole person to really love and overly needy people cannot do it. Real love is balanced. Both partners love in fairly equal amounts. While the balance may shift back and forth, it is not lopsided. If you love someone who is not loving your back, or not loving you the way you love them, then it’s not real.

When you place expectations on people to fill your empty places, that is not healthy. It’s nice to have a partner, a companion, someone to help you weather life’s storms, but it is not okay to look for someone to complete you or fix your broken places. That is not real love; that is dependence, co-dependence, and unhealthy neediness.

Real love does not play games, cause us to lose sleep, friends, jobs, money, time and value in our lives. Real love is an enlarging and not a narrowing experience. And finally, real love does exist. But it is true that in order to find the right person, you need to be the right person.

To be the right person you have to do your work, examine your failed relationships and, find the patterns. Go to counseling if you have historical issues. Find out why you are attracted to a certain type that is not good for you. And, at the same time, build your life so that you are an independent, interesting, and attractive person.  You will attract other independent, interesting, and attractive people who are capable of good and loving relationships.

As I say over and over again, water seeks its own level. If you are attracting and attracted to unhealthy and dysfunctional, you are unhealthy and dysfunctional. Do your work so that real love andlasting love has a chance to walk in.

How to Keep Your Balance When There’s No Place to Stand and Nothing to Hold On To

Know you what it is to be a child?… it is 
to believe in belief….
– Francis Thompson, 19th c. British poet

We don’t forget our first ah-ha experience any more than we forget our first kiss. The difference is we have some idea of what to expect from a kiss, but we don’t know what to make of an enlightening incident. The experience lingers in memory as something special, but since we can’t account for it, we’re apt to keep it to o urselves.

Only in my thirties did I realize that an experience I’d had in my teens was the analogue of that first kiss. About six years after discovering that our third grade science book contained mistakes, it struck me that anything could be wrong. There were no infallible truths, no ultimate explanations.

 

In high school we were learning that science theories and models were not to be regarded as absolute truths, but rather taken to be useful descriptions that might someday be replaced with better ones. I accepted this way of holding scientific truth—it didn’t seem to undercut its usefulness. But I still wanted to believe there were absolute, moral truths, not mere assumptions, but unimpeachable, eternal verities. My mother certainly acted as if there were.

 

But one day, alone in my bedroom, I had the premonition that what was true of science applied to beliefs of every sort. I realized that, as in science, political, moral, or personal convictions could be questioned and might need amending or qualifying in certain circumstances. The feeling reminded me of consulting a dictionary and realizing that there are no final definitions, only cross references. I remember exactly where I was standing, and how it felt, when I discovered there was no place to stand, nothing to hold on to. I felt sobered, yet at the same time, strangely liberated. After all, if there were no absolutes, then there might be an escape from what often seemed to me to be a confining socialconformity.With this revelation, my hopes for definitive, immutable solutions to life’s problems dimmed. I shared my experience of unbelief with no one at the time, knowing that I couldn’t explain myself and fearing others’ mockery. I decided that to function in society I would have to pretend to go along with the prevailing consensus—at least until I could come up with something better. For decades afterwards, without understanding why, I was drawn to people and ideas that expanded my premonition of a worldview grounded not on immutable beliefs, but rather on a process of continually improving our best working assumptions.Science Models EvolveIt’s the essence of models that they’re works in progress. While nothing could be more obvious—after all, models are all just figments of our fallible imaginations—the idea that models can change, and should be expected to yield their place of privilege to better ones, has been surprisingly hard to impart.Until relatively recently we seem to have preferred to stick to what we know—or think we know—no matter the consequences. Rather than judge for ourselves, we’ve been ready to defer to existing authority and subscribe to received “wisdom.” Perhaps this is because of a premium put on not “upsetting the apple cart” during a period in human history when an upright apple cart was of more importance to group cohesiveness and survival than the fact that the cart was full of rotten apples.Ironically, our principal heroes, saints and geniuses alike, have typically spilled a lot of apples. Very often they are people who have championed a truth that contradicts the official line.A turning point in the history of human understanding came in the seventeenth century when one such figure, the English physician William Harvey, discovered that the blood circulates through the body. His plea—“I appeal to your own eyes as my witness and judge”—was revolutionary at a time when physicians looked not to their own experience but rather accepted on faith the Greek view that blood was made in the liver and consumed as fuel by the body. The idea that dogma be subordinated to the actual experience of the individual seemed audacious at the time.Another milestone was the shift from the geocentric (or Ptolemaic) model (named after the first-century Egyptian astronomer Ptolemy) to the heliocentric model (or Copernican) model (after the sixteenth-century Polish astronomer Copernicus, who is regarded by many as the father of modern science).Until five centuries ago, it was an article of faith that the sun, the stars, and the planets revolved around the earth, which lay motionless at the center of the universe. When the Italian scientist Galileo embraced the Copernican model, which held that the earth and other planets revolve around the sun, he was contradicting the teaching of the Church. This was considered sacrilegious and, under threat of torture, he was forced to recant. He spent the rest of his life under house arrest, making further astronomical discoveries and writing books for posterity. In 1992, Pope John Paul II acknowledged that the Roman Catholic Church had erred in condemning Galileo for asserting that the Earth revolves around the Sun.The Galileo affair was really an argument about whether models should be allowed to change without the Church’s consent. Those in positions of authority often deem acceptance of their beliefs, and with that the acceptance of their role as arbiters of beliefs, to be more important than the potential benefits of moving on to a better model. For example, the discovery of seashells on mountaintops and fossil evidence of extinct species undermined theological doctrine that the world and all living things were a mere six thousand years old. Such discoveries posed a serious challenge to the Church’s monopoly on truth.Typically, new models do not render old ones useless, they simply circumscribe their domains of validity, unveiling and accounting for altogether new phenomena that lie beyond the scope of the old models. Thus, relativity and quantum theory do not render Newton’s laws of motion obsolete. NASA has no need for the refinements of quantum or relativistic mechanics in calculating the flight paths of space vehicles. The accuracy afforded by Newton’s laws suffices for its purposes.Some think that truths that aren’t absolute and immutable disqualify themselves as truths. But just because models change doesn’t mean that anything goes. At any given time, what “goes” is precisely the most accurate model we’ve got. One simply has to be alert to the fact that our current model may be superseded by an even better one tomorrow. It’s precisely this built-in skepticism that gives science its power.Most scientists are excited when they find a persistent discrepancy between their latest model and empirical data. They know that such deviations signal the existence of hitherto unknown realms in which new phenomena may be discovered. The presumption that nature models are infallible has been replaced with the humbling expectation that their common destiny is to be replaced by more comprehensive and accurate ones.Toward the end of the nineteenth century, many physicists believed they’d learned all there was to know about the workings of the universe. The consensus was that between Newton’s dynamics and Maxwell’s electromagnetism we had everything covered. Prominent scientists solemnly announced the end of physics.There is nothing new to be discovered in physics now. All that remains is more and more precise measurement.– Lord Kelvin (1900)

Then a few tiny discrepancies between theory and experiment were noted and as scientists explored them, they came upon the previously hidden realm of atomic and relativistic physics, and with it technologies that have put their stamp on the twentieth century.

Albert Einstein believed that the final resting place of every theory is as a special case of a broader one. Indeed, he spent the last decades of his life searching for a unified theory that would have transcended the discoveries he made as a young man. The quest for such a grand unifying theory goes on.

Being and Flowing is a good place to begin Healing Your Thoughts.

 

The first part of the Being and Flowing Sequence is a basic relaxation session where some (or several) of the techniques of guided imagery or meditation can be used. In fact, for this type of relaxation, you can use new techniques or techniques that are familiar to you and that have worked for you in the past. If you do the sequence regularly, you can switch between techniques if you like.

One caveat: We find that general medical/therapy techniques, specifically those that are not associated with a particular spiritual path, work best for the Being and Flowing meditation in this context. (We link to some general relaxation techniques from the University of Maryland Medical Center, below). 

Being and Flowing First Step: Basic Relaxation Session

One: Position

If you are outdoors, find a quiet, safe place in a garden, park, beach or woods. Remember, safety comes first. If you are indoors, find a place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit on a floor cushion or in a chair with your feet on the floor, or lie down in a comfortable position. Whatever position you choose, try to remember, you might choose not to move or shift while being and flowing, so make sure it’s really comfortable.

Two: Watch Your Thoughts

Once you are comfortable, the first thing to keep in mind: Don’t worry about your thoughts. Allow them to come and go as they wish. Give them their freedom to come and go as they like. Don’t try to control them. Just observe them. 

Three: Watch Your Breath

Don’t try to control your breathing. Just observe your breath. If you are familiar with breathing techniques and want to try them, you could, but to forge a new path it’s sometimes good to let go and experience non-familiar meditative pathways.

Four: No Goal

If you feel stressed or anxious, remember: there is no goal here. Just passively watch where your thoughts and breath take you. If after a few tries anxiety (or boredom, which can be a symptom of anxiety during meditation) feels overpowering, take a break.

Five: Far Away

At some point, your thoughts may seem to “melt away”. They may feel far away; you know they’re there, but they don’t seem to touch you, or you don’t really touch them. There is a gulf between you and your thoughts, including your less-than-helpful ones. When they are so far away, their ability to control you is greatly diminished.

Help!

If you need help we recommend you try music. We really like (and recommend) Dr. Harry Henshaw’s relaxation music. (Last year, we interviewed him, here.)

Dr. Henshaw’s audio tracks of free-floating music are really de-stressing. We can best describe them as providing a musical pathway on which your thoughts can flow. His music doesn’t restrain or confine your thoughts as much as gently supports them. We really liked the ones on these pages; so far, we’ve sampled the uplifting music of Clarity, the gentle vibrato of Cosmic Reflection, the sweet tones of Equilibrium and the progressions of Inner Peace.*

If you want more concrete help the techniques of progressive relaxation (and toe tensing) can be very helpful. The University of Maryland Medical Center has clearly outlined them. They recommend the techniques for sleep disorders, but they are also helpful for tension and anxiety. One quibble: they don’t mention that slightly tensing each area of the body (not just the toes) before you relax that part, can be even a more powerful path to relaxation.

We’ve made our own relaxation recordings at home. We record our soft, slow voices giving a step-by-step progressive relaxation session. You might enjoy making your own recordings, too.

Being and Flowing Second Step: Journal

If you are in therapy, or even if you’re not, it’s a good idea to do a Being and Flowing journal. Some people like to share this with their therapist, others don’t. It’s up to you.

You might consider doing an audio or video recording if you don’t like to write. Writing or otherwise recording your general experience with your relaxation session, is a good starting point. Then, if you like, continue to write or otherwise comment on your experience of your thinking process. What were your thoughts? Were you able to let them drift by? Did any thoughts “stick” more than others? Did new thoughts, thoughts you never “thought” before, pop up?

Also, you might explore the self that observed the thoughts. And so on. If you don’t like to write and don’t want to do an audio or video recording, you can try illustrating your experience by drawing, painting, collage (found objects, fabric, and so on), photography, etc.

Once you have a sense of Being and Flowing, you’ll might find yourself being able to step back, even in a non-relaxing session, from your thoughts that are not beneficial. You might find it easier to dispassionately examine your thoughts (and beliefs, which are a type of thought often mingled with emotion) and see if they are really beneficial to you.

In fact, a very important, even central, part of therapy is examining thoughts and beliefs that hamper or are openly damaging to: your personal growth, relationships, mental health, and physical health. Therapy, in part, teaches you how to “rethink” things, even changing your most closely held beliefs, if they don’t serve your growth. Healing your thoughts is central to healing your life.

How do you treat yourself

How do you treat yourself?     How should you treat yourself? What should you think about yourself? How should you feel about yourself? Well..... how do you treat your best friend? What do you think about them? How do you feel about them? Now take that and multiply it by 10, multiply it by 100. Imagine how you would feel about somebody you were completely in love with, that you loved more than life itself, but it was an unconditional, open, free, healthy love, and not a needy, posessive, jealous, conditional love. Your eyes are wide open and you see all their faults and yet you love them despite their faults, perhaps because of them. Now perhaps you are getting close to how you should feel about yourself..........Simon Meadowcroft

Smokers could one day be immunised against nicotine so they gain no pleasure from the habit, according to researchers in the US.

They have devised a vaccine that floods the body with an antibody to assault nicotine entering the body.

A study in mice, published in Science Translational Medicine, showed levels of the chemical in the brain were reduced by 85% after vaccination.

Years of research are still needed before it could be tested on people.

However, lead researcher Prof Ronald Crystal is convinced there will be benefits.

"As far as we can see, the best way to treat chronic nicotine addiction from smoking is to have these Pacman-like antibodies on patrol, clearing the blood as needed before nicotine can have any biological effect."

New approach

Other "smoking vaccines" have been developed that train the immune system to produce antibodies that bind to nicotine - it is the same method used to vaccinate against diseases. The challenge has been to produce enough antibodies to stop the drug entering the brain and delivering its pleasurable hit.

Scientists at Weill Cornell Medical College have used a completely different approach, a gene-therapy vaccine, which they say is more promising.

Continue reading the main story

“Start Quote

If they start smoking again, they will receive no pleasure from it due to the nicotine vaccine, and that can help them kick the habit”

Prof Ronald CrystalWeill Cornell Medical College

A genetically modified virus containing the instructions for making nicotine antibodies is used to infect the liver. This turns the organ into a factory producing the antibodies.

The research team compared the amount of nicotine in the brains of normal mice with those that had been immunised. After being injected with nicotine, the vaccinated mice had nicotine levels 85% lower.

It is not known if this could be repeated in humans or if this level of reduction would be enough to help people quit.

Prof Crystal said that if such a vaccine could be developed then people "will know if they start smoking again, they will receive no pleasure from it due to the nicotine vaccine, and that can help them kick the habit".

He added: "We are very hopeful that this kind of vaccine strategy can finally help the millions of smokers who have tried to stop, exhausting all the methods on the market today, but find their nicotine addiction to be strong enough to overcome these current approaches."

'Impressive and intriguing'

There are also issues around the safety of gene therapy in humans that will need to be answered.

Professor of genetics at the University of Kent, Darren Griffin, said the findings were "impressive and intriguing with great potential" but cautioned there were still many issues which needed addressing.

He said the main issue "is whether the observed biochemical effects in lab mice genuinely translate to a reduced addiction in humans given that such addictions can be both physical and psychological".

Dr Simon Waddington, from University College London, said: "The technology underpinning gene therapy is improving all the time and it is encouraging to see these preliminary results that indicate it could be used to address nicotine addiction, which is damaging to the nation's health and a drain on the health service economy."

If such a vaccine was developed it could also raise ethical questions about vaccinating people, possibly in childhood, before they even started smoking.

Coke and Pepsi contain tiny traces of alcohol, reveals French research

Coca-Cola and Pepsi contain minute traces of alcohol, scientific research published in France has revealed. The revelation will cause concern among those who chose the carbonated soft drink for religious, health or safety reasons. According to tests carried out by the Paris-based National Institute of Consumption (INC) more than half of leading colas contain the traces of alcohol. Can't beat the real thing: The revelation will cause concern among those who chose the carbonated soft drink for religious, health or safety reasons These include the brand leaders Coca-Cola and Pepsi Cola, while it is mainly only cheap supermarket versions of the drink which are alcohol-free. ‘60 Million Consumers’, the French magazine, publishes the results of the tests in its latest issue. They suggest that the alcohol levels are as low as 10mg in every litre, and this works out at around 0.001 per cent alcohol.

Friday, 8 June 2012

AURICULAR ACUPUNCTURE

Many alternative treatments for addictions have shown great promise including two related Traditional Chinese Methods (TCM), acupuncture and auriculotherapy (ear acupuncture). These two treatments have been used for centuries to maintain and restore health. More recently, auriculotherapy has been used to treat modern drug addictions like cocaine, heroin, and crack as well as alcohol and cigarettes. Patients treated with this method often experience fewer relapses with no known negative side effects. It is interesting that we, in the Western World, think of Traditional Chinese Medicine as “alternative health” when it has been around for thousands of years!

Auriculotherapy

Auricular Acupuncture

Auriculotherapy is the stimulation of the auricle of the external ear to diagnose and treat health conditions in other parts of the body. The auricle could be compared to an inverted fetus, with the head represented on the lower ear lobe, the feet at the top of the external ear, and the rest of the body in-between.

Modern applications of this method are based on the work of Dr. Paul Nogier from France who practiced in the 1950′s. In recognition of Nogier’s discoveries and research on the auricle, the Chinese Government honored him by awarding him a formal title “Father of Modern Auricular Therapy.”

Dr. Michael Smith is recognized internationally as the psychiatrist who pioneered the use of these procedures in the field of chemical dependency. He developed an accepted auricular therapy protocol at Lincoln Hospital, New York. In 1987, the program was redesigned to focus on court-related referrals. Based on the Lincoln Hospital model, Dr. Smith helped develop the Miami drug court treatment and court monitoring system and has advised numerous other programs around the country. Dr. Smith founded the National Acupuncture Detoxification Association.

Auricular Therapy and Addictions

In Auriculotherapy, addictions are treated by addressing the specific ear points that deal with dependencies using various tools such as needles, pellets/seeds, magnets, acupressure, electro-stimulation, or laser. It is conducted by a variety of practitioners, including acupuncturists, chiropractic doctors, medical doctors, naturopathic doctors, nurses, physical therapists, and psychotherapists.

One of the most important features of acupuncture or auriculotherapy is that they can be used safely with “high risk” patients. Pharmaceutical treatments are often limited by the patient’s physical conditions such as pregnancy or high blood pressure. These two methods can be administered across a wide range of people effectively and affordably.

The Western World was largely unaware of this procedure until the 1970s. In 1997, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) released a statement endorsing it for a variety of conditions. The World Health Organization has listed over 40 health conditions that acupuncture can improve including addictions.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

exploding the common myths about which foods are good for us

Myth: Salt in your diet causes high blood pressure

In the 1940s, Walter Kempner, a researcher at Duke University, North Carolina, became famous for using salt restriction to treat people with high blood pressure. Later, studies confirmed that reducing salt could help reduce hypertension. But you don't have to avoid salt entirely, says Sara Stanner, of the Nutrition Society. "Adults need a small amount of sodium in their diet to maintain the body's fluid balance."

Average salt intakes have come down in recent years, mainly due to product reformulation. But it's still the case that many of us consume too much salt – around 9g a day instead of the maximum recommended dose of 6g per day – around 75 per cent of which is in processed foods such as soups, sauces, sandwiches and processed meat.

"People often think it's really bad to add salt into cooking or on to your plate, but that forms no more than 10 per cent of your total intake," says Stanner. "So you can get people who never have salt at their table, but have a very high salt intake, while others put salt on most meals, but have a lower intake."

Myth: Carbohydrates are bad for you

"Carbohydrate-rich foods are an ideal source of energy. They can also provide a lot of fibre and nutrients," says Sara Stanner. "Potatoes, for instance, are one of the best sources of vitamin C, yet potato consumption in the UK has fallen considerably."

One of the main reasons carbohydrates have fallen out of favour is that they are perceived to be fattening. "Foods high in carbohydrates have had a rough time in the past few years, thanks to the success of low-carb diets, such as the Atkins diet," explains Juliette Kellow.

"But there's no proof that carb-rich foods are more likely to make us gain weight than any other food. Ultimately, it's an excess of calories that makes us pile on the pounds – and it really doesn't matter where those extra calories come from. More often than not, it's the fat we add to carbs that boosts the calorie content, such as butter on toast, creamy sauces with pasta and frying potatoes to make chips."

Myth: Dairy products are fattening and unhealthy

In a study by the Curtin University of Technology in Perth, Australia, slimmers on low- calorie diets which included cheese, yoghurt and milk lost more weight than those on low-dairy diets. Those on the diet including dairy also had the least stomach fat, lower blood pressure and a significantly better chance of avoiding heart disease and diabetes.

Dairy products are packed with essential nutrients that help keep us healthy, says Juliette Kellow. "As well as being good sources of protein, zinc and some B vitamins, dairy products are packed with calcium, a mineral that helps to build strong, healthy bones – and the stronger the bones are, the less likely you'll be to suffer from osteoporosis in later life."

There are loads of low-fat versions of dairy, such as skimmed or semi-skimmed milk, low-fat yoghurts and reduced-fat cheeses, she says – and low-fat versions don't mean less calcium. "Skimmed and semi-skimmed milk actually contain slightly more calcium than full-fat milk."

Myth: Red meat is bad for you

Publishing what it called "the most authoritative ever report of bowel cancer risk" last year, the World Cancer Research Fund recommended that people limit their intake of red meat to 500g a week, or just over a pound in weight. The net result of such studies is always the same – people panic.

But 500g is roughly the equivalent of five or six medium portions of roast beef, lamb or pork. "Red meat is a valuable source of minerals and vitamins, particularly iron, and we know that large numbers of women have such low intakes of this nutrient that they're at risk of anaemia. There's no need for people to think, 'I should be eating fish' when they have a steak,' provided they eat it in moderation," says Sarah Schenker.

Another myth about red meat is that it's high in fat, says Juliette Kellow, dietitian and advisor to Weight Loss Resources. "Thanks to modern breeding programmes and new trimming techniques, red meat is now leaner than ever.

Processed meat of all kinds, however, should be avoided.

Myth: Fresh is always better than frozen

Frozen fruit and vegetables can be more healthy than fresh. "Research shows that freezing vegetables such as peas as soon as they're picked – when they are at their nutritional peak – means they retain higher levels of vitamins, particularly vitamin C," says Sarah Schenker. "Once frozen, the deterioration process stops, locking in goodness. The fresh variety often travel long distances and sit on grocery shelves and along the way, heat, air, water and time can lead to a significant loss of nutrients."

Frozen or canned fruits and vegetables can also be as nutritious as fresh ones, if not more so. Again, they are often packaged within hours of being picked, retaining their nutritional value. "Always check salt and sugar levels though by comparing labels," says Sarah Schenker, of the British Dietitic Association. Even dried fruit can be healthier than fresh. "When you eat dried fruit you usually eat more than the fresh equivalent – for instance six dried apricots instead of three fresh ones. This is more calorific but you get a bigger amount of nutrients," says Schenker.

Myth: Soy eases menopausal problems

For years, the fact that Asian women have fewer menopausal symptoms has been attributed to high levels of soy in their diet. Soy products such as tofu contain natural plant oestrogens and there have been increasing claims that these might help women going through the menopause whose own oestrogen levels are dwindling.

But a University of Miami study has found that soy does nothing to abate hot flushes and bone-density loss. In fact, the women given soy appeared to experience more hot flushes than those given a placebo.

Experts including Dr Malcolm Whitehead, a menopause expert at King's College Hospital in London, aren't surprised. "In my clinical experience, women say this doesn't work for them," he says, adding that HRT is a safe and effective treatment for most women.

Others point to previous studies showing that soy can work, but the British Dietetic Association's Sarah Schenker, says, "This research has always been weak. People got excited about those early small studies, but the more research that was done, the more doubts appeared."

Myth: Brown bread is better for you than white

A darker loaf of bread does not necessarily mean it's made with whole grains – it could simply contain caramel colouring or such a small amount of whole wheat that its nutritional benefits are no different to white bread. "The real health benefits come from eating wholemeal bread instead of white," says Sarah Schenker.

Wholemeal is made from flour containing all the goodness of wheat grains. The outer husk has not been removed, so the resulting bread is much richer in fibre, protein and vitamins B1, B2, niacin, B6, folic acid and biotin. Brown bread, in contrast, is made from finely milled wheat, from which the bran has been extracted.

Look for the words "whole grain" or "100% whole wheat" on packaging and ensure the first ingredient listed is whole wheat, oats, whole rye, whole grain corn, barley, quinoa, buckwheat or brown rice. Seeded bread is even better, since it contains even more vitamins, minerals and healthy fats.

Myth: Everyone needs a lot of protein

Protein is essential for growth and development, but experts agree that most people eat far too much of it. "The Department of Health recommends that protein should make up around 10-15 per cent of your daily diet – that's around 55g for men and 45g for women," dietitian Azmina Govindji says. "Yet, according to the British Nutrition Foundation, men are probably munching their way through an average of 88g and women around 64g."

So what's fuelling this notion that we need so much? "Some diets, such as the Atkins diet, advocate speedy weight loss on cutting the carbs and piling on the proteins", Govindji says.

Another contributory factor is that in the past, it was believed nobody could eat too much protein. In the early 1900s, people were told to eat well over 100g a day and in the 1950s, health-conscious people were encouraged to boost their protein intake. But high protein can put a strain on liver and kidneys and other bodily systems.

Friday, 6 April 2012

Relationship Intimacy in the Age of Social Media


These days, virtually everyone owns a computer, smart-phone, or mobile device. Digital interaction is an integral part of our everyday routine. We check emails and texts, update our Facebook page, fire off a tweet or two, and then finish our morning coffee. Digital interconnectivity provides endless new opportunities to support our very human need for community and social interaction. Innovations like Facebook, with over 500 million users, and Twitter, with over 300 million users, now allow real-time interactions with an increasingly wider and more diverse group of people. Best of all, friends and family too distant for regular contact just a few years ago can now be intimately folded into our lives. We make friends, we share our experiences, we celebrate, and we commiserate – one world, a growing interactive community. For partners, spouses, and families separated for long periods of time by work or military service, the tech-connect boom is a godsend. Couples, children, and parents are now able to bond long-distance in real time, sharing a growing child’s latest milestone, and even engaging in visual intimacy via the webcams now routinely incorporated into computers and smart-phones. And those not yet in a committed relationship can put technology to good use when home or traveling via e-dating, establishing and growing budding relationships with less of a focus on who lives where. Poke Me? For those unfamiliar with the term “poke,” allow me to enlighten you. In the online social media world of Facebook there is a button that allows you to poke someone. When you poke them, an icon appears on their Facebook page letting them know they’ve been poked, and by whom. The purpose of a virtual poke is the same as that of a real-world poke – to get someone’s attention without actually having to say anything, or, in the case of Facebook, write anything. If you’ve been poked, it means someone is thinking about you, likes you, thinks you’re a good person, thinks you’ve got a great new haircut, or whatever. It also means they have chosen not to engage you via more time-consuming methods like phoning, texting, emailing, instant messaging, or, heaven forbid, stopping by your house and knocking on the door. So what is a poke worth? Is a poke a meaningful social interaction? I know what you may be thinking, but this is a serious question, especially if you are under 25 and grew up with social media as an ingrained part of your daily interactions. There are other questions, too. Should a virtual relationship grow, as many do, beyond a simple poke? If so, how do you know which ones are healthy to maintain and grow? Can “virtual” intimacy be as healthy as a real-world relationship? Does it mean as much when Facebook reminds someone of your birthday as it does when someone actually remembers your birthday? These questions are particularly important for those already struggling with Internet or “real-life” social or intimacy deficits. Generally speaking, healthy, successful relationships of all stripes involve: Physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, and embracing Respect, shown by taking an active interest in others, having empathy for their challenges, and championing their successes Offering support and lending a helping hand when needed, giving advice when asked, and providing unexpected acts of kindness Quality time devoted to evolving our connection to those we care about Valuing, validating, and recognizing who another person is and what they bring to the table In at least a few of these areas, social media comes up short. Clearly there is no virtual equivalent to the warmth of a loving embrace, kiss, or intimate touch – though no doubt we will come to physically experience our loved ones’ embraces via electronic media in the days to come. It is also more challenging, though not impossible, to be a fully empathic listener and advisor online, as Internet interactions lack the full range of feedback that comes in the physical presence of another person (though webcams can help). As for quality time, research shows a mirror relationship between the increased use of technology and decreased levels of quality interpersonal interaction – even among family members. Facebook may just be the new television in this regard. Face-hooked? Perhaps it is no surprise that seemingly benign social media sites like Facebook can become problematic for those predisposed to compulsive, impulsive and addictive behavior. Social media sites have, in fact, become a new (and socially acceptable) place to peruse intimate photos, gain personal information, seek out hot chats, and hook up for virtual or in-person sexual encounters. Self-identified relationship and sexual addicts increasingly describe these networks as a primary location where they routinely “find themselves” lost in an obsessive search for sexual and/or romantic intensity. Consider Janelle, a 29-year-old housewife and mother of two young boys, who takes great pride in being a good mom and having married an engaged and loving man. Sadly, Janelle grew up in an emotionally abusive, addictive family, a situation that lead to her losing much of her early adult life to active drug and alcohol addiction. Thankfully, after several years of involvement and hard work in therapy and AA, Janelle got sober and remained so for nearly seven years. Recently though, feeling beyond bored and stuck at home with no one to talk to other than two toddlers, Janelle discovered Facebook. Initially she gratefully utilized this new media outlet to reconnect with old high school friends and distant family while at home with her kids. But one day – out of the blue – she received a poke and follow-up email from an attractive man she’d never met, asking her to chat online. This simple communication triggered a cascade of unanticipated excitement she’d not felt since prior to getting sober. Within a few weeks Janelle was impatiently waiting for her husband to leave each day so she could go online and connect. Within a few months she found herself involved in a string of online affairs, distracted from parenting and having strong fantasies of hooking-up with some of her new online buddies. A year and several anonymous sexual encounters later, Janelle relapsed with alcohol and cocaine while having a sexual encounter with a stranger met online. Today Janelle is in gender separate treatment for co-occurring addictions at The Ranch in Tennessee, working hard to understand how once again her life got away from her. Social Interaction: Reformatted Most people are familiar with Facebook. Twitter, however, is a newer form of social media that has taken the digital world by storm. On Twitter, users send social messages or “micro-blogs” up to 140 characters long. These messages are known as “tweets.” Tweets are read by “followers.” Followers are to Twitter what “friends” are to Facebook. Like it or not, Facebook, Twitter, and related social media have already begun to irrevocably shift age-old paradigms of social (and cultural) interaction. For those whose lives have become deeply entwined in social media, feelings of self-worth can be tied to the number of Facebook friends and/or Twitter followers they have. In therapy, they report feeling their emotional stability and self-esteem wax and wane in direct relation to how these virtual communities and individuals respond to each carefully phrased post and tweet. Losing a Twitter follower or having your numbers go down can feel devastating for some – the meaning of which can be undervalued or completely missed by an otherwise well-meaning clinician who is not well-versed in these media. Consequently, individuals suffering from depression or anxiety often find their conditions exacerbated by online interaction. And many an intimate relationship has ended badly because of one partner’s poor online boundaries and/or social media driven sexual acting out. Perhaps it is time to consider a few social media guidelines: For those in intimate partnerships it may well be worth utilizing a joint social media account. Sharing one online world will likely lead to lively discussions about how the couple mutually experiences social media. This can bring the pair together not only physically, but emotionally. They can jointly decide who to be friends with, what pages to like, who to follow, and what they want to communicate to the world about their lives together. This can also help reduce the fear that one or the other partner might be cyber-straying while on an individual account. Parents of young children and teens should strongly consider a joint or family social media account for reasons similar to those above and the fact that this can serve as a healthy way to monitor a child’s online interaction. Individuals concerned about their online vulnerability to sexual or romantic overtures should consider a commitment to only friending (adding people to their social network) people they already know and like in the real world. Facebook and social media accounts can readily be set up to allow interactions only with previously known individuals. And, by the way, the competition to see who can amass the most Internet friends is over. Lady Gaga and Oprah won. End of story. For those who sadly evaluate their Twitter follower numbers as if Twitter was a social stock market, it is best to be reminded that Twitter is about building community with like-minded people and exploring the lives of others without governmental or media influence. Unless you utilize Twitter for business purposes, who cares how many people follow you? What matters is what the people you follow have to say and how the people who follow you respond to your thoughts and experience. By taking this stance, the twitterverse becomes a place of social engagement and enlightenment rather than a high-school-like popularity contest. Don’t discuss or air any relationship or personal problems on Facebook or Twitter. Ever. If you’re struggling with your spouse or a friend, discuss it with them directly, or in therapy, or with a member of the clergy, or in some other suitable non-social media venue.  A good filter for what to and what not to post is the following: if these are ideas or images you would not want associated with you on your local evening news, then these ideas or images are not appropriate for social media. If you’re sick of social media, experiencing information overload, or your involvement online is a source of ongoing anxiety or despair, QUIT. Try interacting with friends and loved ones in person. You might just find that while you were busy online they actually missed you. Ultimately, social media can enrich, enliven, and enlighten nearly every area of our lives from cooking tips to the Arab Spring. Maintaining contact with far-away friends and family, learning about new and interesting topics, and sharing our opinions and expertise are wonderful things. But social media has not as yet found a way to replace or fully replicate the social, physical, and relationship needs that are met when we engage face to face. A healthy life requires balance, and an overdose of social media for an extended period can bring about unnecessary emotional, financial, relationship, and career consequences. Robert Weiss is the author of three books on sexual addiction and Founding Director of the premiere sex addiction treatment program, The Sexual Recovery Institute. He is Director of Sexual Disorders Services at The Ranch and Promises Treatment Centers. These centers serve individuals seeking sexual addiction treatment, love addiction treatment, and porn addiction help. Specifically, the Centers for Relationship and Sexual Recovery at The Ranch (CRSR) offer specialized intimacy, sex and relationship addiction treatment for both men and women in gender-specific, gender-separate treatment and living environments.

Food Can Be Addictive, Says Dr. Nora Volkow, Director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse


Can food really be as addictive as drugs? In an impassioned lecture at Rockefeller University on Wednesday, Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, made the case that the answer is yes and that understanding the commonalities between food and drug addictions could offer insights into all types of compulsive behavior. Volkow began by acknowledging that the idea is controversial. “This is a concept that is rejected by many people,” she said. “It has polarized the [addictions] field.” Many experts dismiss food as an addictive substance because it doesn’t lead to most people behaving like addicts — compulsively seeking food despite negative consequences. So, the reasoning goes, food can’t be as addictive as a drug like crack cocaine. What that fails to recognize, however, is that crack cocaine itself isn’t as addictive as is commonly believed. “If you look at people who take drugs, the majority are not addicted,” Volkow said. Indeed, even for drugs like crack and heroin, fewer than 20% of users become addicted. In contrast, if you look at the proportion of people who are currently obese — some 34% of adults over 20 — it’s a significantly larger group. Add in those who are overweight, and fully two-thirds of Americans clearly have significant difficulties controlling their food intake. So, measured by the proportion of those who behave in health-risking ways with each substance, food could actually be considered several times more “addictive” than crack.

Eating Berries Could Guard Men Against Parkinson's

 

Eating strawberries, blueberries, blackcurrants and blackberries, which are rich in flavonoids, could reduce the risk of Parkinson's disease in men, finds a research. Men who ate the fruits along with other foods rich in flavonoids were found to be 40 percent less likely to develop the brain disease, Daily Mail reported Thursday. And those who ate berries at least once a week could cut their risk of developing the disease by a quarter compared with those who never ate them, the study by British and US experts has found. Flavonoids - also found in tea and red wine - are antioxidants which can offer protection against diseases like heart disease, some cancers and dementia. The research is the first large-scale study looking at the effect of flavonoids in protecting against Parkinson's disease. It causes tremors and muscular rigidity or stiffness, and affects all kinds of movement in the body. Xiang Gao of Harvard School of Public Health, one of the study leaders, said: "Given the other potential health effects of berry fruits, such as lowering risk of hypertension as reported in our previous studies, it is good to regularly add these fruits to your diet."

Tobacco display ban 'to curb young smokers'

 

A ban on tobacco displays is coming into force in England - with ministers promising it will help curb the number of young people taking up smoking. The ban will apply only to large shops and supermarkets, with smaller outlets given an exemption until 2015. It means cigarettes and other products will have to be kept below the counter. Other parts of the UK are planning similar action as part of a concerted effort to drive down smoking rates. Health Secretary Andrew Lansley told the BBC he hoped the ban would prevent people from taking up smoking and also help those trying to give up. Continue reading the main story “ Start Quote I hope we can make a big difference” Andrew Lansley Health Secretary He said: "Firstly, it reduces the visibility of tobacco and smoking to young people. And, of course two-thirds of smokers started smoking before they were eighteen. "So, if we can, literally, arrive at a place where young people just don't think about smoking and they don't see tobacco and they don't see cigarettes - then I hope we can make a big difference." He said the government recognised the pressures on retailers to comply with the ban but added: "We want to arrive at a place where we no longer see smoking as a normal part of life. We're doing it by stages with constant active pressure." 'Colourful displays' A fifth of adults smoke - a figure which has remained steady in recent years after decades of rapid falls. A plan to force manufacturers to put cigarettes into plain packets is also expected to be put out to consultation later this year. The display ban will apply to shops of more than 280 sq m (3,014 sq ft). Continue reading the main story “ Start Quote It's essential that we create a culture that promotes and protects public health and tobacco legislation is a significant factor in making this happen” Jo Butcher National Children's Bureau Public health minister Anne Milton cited evidence from Ireland which suggested the measure could play an important role in discouraging young people in particular from smoking. "We cannot ignore the fact that young people are recruited into smoking by colourful, eye-catching, cigarette displays. "Most adult smokers started smoking as teenagers and we need to stop this trend." Jo Butcher, of the National Children's Bureau, agreed: "It's essential that we create a culture that promotes and protects public health and tobacco legislation is a significant factor in making this happen." Jean King, of charity Cancer Research UK, said the ban would help stop children who are attracted to brightly coloured tobacco packaging from taking up smoking but further action was still needed. "Of course we want to see the pack branding taken away as well. This is not a normal consumer product, it kills people. We want to protect the next generation of children," she said. Health Secretary Andrew Lansley: "We want to arrive at a place where we no longer see smoking as a normal part of life" However, the move has upset the tobacco industry. Moves by Scotland to introduce such a ban have been delayed by legal action taken by Imperial Tobacco. Meanwhile, a spokesman for British American Tobacco said: "We do not believe that hiding products under the counter or behind curtains or screens will discourage people, including the young, from taking up smoking. "There's no sound evidence to prove display bans are justified." He added if anything it could encourage the illicit trade of tobacco products. Andrew Opie, from the British Retail Consortium, said it was wrong to believe the legislation would have a major effect on young people and it was supermarkets and other shops which were bearing the brunt of the costs needed to comply with the ban. He said the organisation had calculated that it cost more than £15m to ensure everything was sorted out before the ban came into place. He said: "Children are more likely to smoke when they're in a household where parents smoke and also they tend to get their cigarettes from either parents, or older peers, not directly from supermarkets. "It's certainly caused a lot of disruption to retailers as they didn't actually get that much notice to comply - and if you think that this is 6,000 shops in England, there are only so many shop-fitters that can do the work." The display ban was announced by the government last year as part of its tobacco control strategy. Although the legislation allowing it to happen was actually put in place by the Labour government before it lost power in 2010. A number of countries, including Canada, Ireland, Iceland and Finland, have already introduced similar bans. Prof David Hammond from the University of Waterloo in Ontario, said the ban led to a decline in smoking - especially among the young - in Canada. "The declines were greatest in the provinces where the ban had been implemented the longest. And that's consistent with the idea that when you remove something like marketing, it takes some time for the residual marketing to wear out. "We would expect to see a stronger impact among younger people as they age in the absence of that marketing," he said.

Acceptance is key to transformation.

We put so much energy into resisting what has happened in our lives. The more resistance, the greater the pain we experience. The more resistance, the stronger the ties are to a history that no longer serves your purpose. However, when you accept the past, you are not judging whether it is right or wrong, you are simply accepting it happened. At that moment, the tethers start to disappear and you begin to free yourself from this past pain. As the process of freeing ourselves evolves, amazingly our attitude begins to change as well and we perceive these things as not nearly as important as they once appeared. We start to see these past scenarios more as potential lessons rather than the cause of continued suffering.

Increase Spirituality, Decrease Alcohol Use

 

The research team, headed by Kelly, studied 1,726 adults who were participating in a randomized, controlled trial of psychosocial treatments for alcohol use disorder. All the subjects were assessed at the start of the study and at 3, 6, 9, 12, and 15 months regarding their attendance at AA meetings, alcohol use, and spiritual/religious practices. The researchers found that attendance at AA meetings was associated with an increase in the participants’ spiritual practices. This increase was especially evident among people who measured low on spirituality at the beginning of the study. Another related finding was that AA attendance was linked to improved alcohol use, and this was partially mediated by increased spirituality. When it comes to rates of success or failure associated with AA, the “Alcoholics Anonymous Recovery Outcome Rates: Contemporary Myth and Misinterpretation” report released January 1, 2008, reported as of their 2007 Survey, 45 percent of AA members were sober more than five years, and that 33 percent could claim sobriety for more than 10 years. Keith Humphreys, a career research scientist with the Veterans Health Administration and professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, noted that “many people will be surprised that alcoholic patients with little or no interest in spirituality attended AA and seemed to change even more than did those who had a pre-existing, strong sense of spirituality.” That is, AA can work for agnostics and atheists as well as people who profess spirituality. Results of the new study on AA meetings, spirituality, and alcohol use suggest AA attendance leads to an improvement in alcohol use and that this improvement is, in part, due to an increase in spiritual practices.

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