Saturday 13 October 2007
STEP 8 - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all."
"Making amends helps us let go of the past. If we are wiling to make amends - and make them- we will be free to meet people and situations without fear. Our Higher Power will provide the opportunity for doing so."
I was first on my list. I was so hard on myself I made my emotional pain and illness worse with my own recriminations, denial, frustration and self-loathing.
Honesty and acceptance were keys to Step 8 and taking some time...step 4 helped to make the list.
There are so many ways to do a Step 8, it's worth checking with fellowship and or your sponsor.
One exercise recommends 9 weeks - just with index cards....one for each person, institution etc. Put the name of each one of the cards than put them away or carry them for 30 days.
Without referring to the cards write about what will be the benefits of making these amends? Put this with the cards or carry this around with you.
After 30 days take out the cards and make a brief note on each why/what the amends needs to be - an apology, express appreciation, forgiveness, time, money, a change of attitude or other. Put them away again for another 30 days.
When you go back and look at the amends are there people who might be harmed by your amends? Are there people that really require an amends or is this just about you feeling guilty? If in doubt, check it out with EA fellow, sponsor, 5th step person.
This step says we need only be willing. sometimes an amend cannot be made. Perhaps a specific amend can never be made - but we were willing to make it if it had been possible.
I was first on my list. I was so hard on myself I made my emotional pain and illness worse with my own recriminations, denial, frustration and self-loathing.
Honesty and acceptance were keys to Step 8 and taking some time...step 4 helped to make the list.
There are so many ways to do a Step 8, it's worth checking with fellowship and or your sponsor.
One exercise recommends 9 weeks - just with index cards....one for each person, institution etc. Put the name of each one of the cards than put them away or carry them for 30 days.
Without referring to the cards write about what will be the benefits of making these amends? Put this with the cards or carry this around with you.
After 30 days take out the cards and make a brief note on each why/what the amends needs to be - an apology, express appreciation, forgiveness, time, money, a change of attitude or other. Put them away again for another 30 days.
When you go back and look at the amends are there people who might be harmed by your amends? Are there people that really require an amends or is this just about you feeling guilty? If in doubt, check it out with EA fellow, sponsor, 5th step person.
This step says we need only be willing. sometimes an amend cannot be made. Perhaps a specific amend can never be made - but we were willing to make it if it had been possible.
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