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Friday 21 September 2007

Good Old Timers

Last month I had a dream that I haven't been able to shake off, and I've decided to share it with you. The dream began with me driving a car alone, and there were some people in another car in constant communication with me. There were beautiful green rolling hills, and many curving roads. We were unable to decide which roads were the right ones to take in order to reach our destination, which was an A.A. event. The road I chose left me alone and lost.
Then I found myself walking down a hill, while numerous people passed me by as they walked up the hill towards their destination, l decided Lo find my way by myself, not ask anyone tor help, and continue walking down the hill.
An elder member of A.A. who has been sober a very long time passed me by as he went up the hill. This older gentlemen is someone who I visit on occasion, because I value his opinion. I called his name, and told him that I was lost and alone. He replied, "You know where to find us," and kept walking up the hill.
I took a few steps back down the hill, then admitted to myself that I couldn't find my way alone. Again, I called out his name, this time telling him that I didn't know where to go and I was afraid, so I would follow him up the hill. He kept walking, but glanced back over his shoulder occasionally to see if I was following.
Upon finally reaching the top of the hill, I found myself in a hall filled with hundreds of A.A. members, many of whom knew me and welcomed me. They surrounded me with love. Then I woke up.
Okay, why am boring all of you with my dream? The past 15 months have been horrible for me. Although during this time I've suffered terribly with physical maladies, the loss of my beloved brother propelled me into questioning my faith and beliefs, During this, the worst time of my life, instead of turning to you in A.A. for help, I turned away, into myself and my grief. I personally believe that through my dream, my heart is screaming to me to reach out to you, the loving members of A.A. The kindly older gentleman in my dream told me that I knew where to find you - and I do.

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